You Can't De-Bleach Stuff

De-bleach isn't even in the dictionary. Neither is de-dye, you have to re-dye stuff (hey, is that how Tie-Dye t's came about? All from a bleaching accident?) but I've never even tried that and since I'm such a dork about laundry and such I would never attempt it.

But I sure wish you could correct the bleach accidents. I was mopping my kitchen and dining room floor in my favorite lounging sweats. Pine Sol and a little bleach does a good job but I must have been a little sloppy because that afternoon the bottom of my sweats looked like a dog pooped all over them. They're black, by the way, and now black with a lot of brown spots.

And then I felt a little woozy. I must have scrubbed too hard and wore myself out.

We've all had accidents with the bleach. Nothing like bright pink underwear. I have since learned to separate the colors from the whites. Aren't I proud!

I was pretty upset when my brand new jockies came out that way. We shopped at a popular discount store back in those days and picked up a bundle of jockey shorts (8 as I remember) that caught my attention. You've heard of, I'm sure, the Fruit Of The Loom brand? Quite popular. Well, this brand was a cheap spinoff called Room For The Fruit.

No, I'm not kidding. The labels had pictures of fruit. I think a couple of Kiwi's and a banana. But that was a while back so I could be wrong. They kinda wore out pretty fast. I figured they were made in Tahiti or somewhere like that.

But back to the bleach. You should have seen my finger tips. Man is that stuff caustic. You want to be careful what you mix it with and how much you use.

My other laundry problem is that all these new and improved, highly concentrated laundry detergents don't work any better than the originals. I still have problems with the old stains and spots on my undies. So I stopped believing those ads and get my detergent from the $ollar Store.

So I think I've got this laundry thing licked.

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Since this is such a short story, Tahiti reminded me of my daughter's favorite blond joke. (Yah, she is a blond.)

Anyway, this good looking blond found out one day that she had won her state's lottery. Oh, was

she over the moon. Her dream was to always visit Tahiti so she booked the flight.

The big day came she got all gussied up and rushed onto the airplane and plopped down in the 1st Class section with a big grin on her face. She turned to the gentleman next to her and squealed, "I'm blond, I'm beautiful and I'm going to Tahiti!"

The 747 soared into the air and after it had leveled off a stewardess came around to check the passenger's seating assignments. She discovered that the young lady wasn't assigned to 1st Class and told her that she would need to move back to the economy class.

"No, no, no!, she exclaimed. "I'm blond, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to Tahiti!"

Well, this went on back and forth for a while and the stewardess announced that she would have to get the Captain to handle this. She told him what had been going on for the past ten minutes and he assured her that he would take care of it.

The stewardess was hailed by another passenger but was still able to watch the pilot Captain bend down and whisper in the blond's ear. Suddenly the adamant young lady gathered her things and rushed to the back of the plane.

"My goodness, Captain," the stewardess said in awe. "What did you threaten her with?"

"Oh, no threats. I just told her that 1st Class wasn't going to Tahiti."