Bed Making For Guys

Bed Making For Guys

Guys aren't really great at bed making so my recommendation is DON'T!

Now I've had a great deal of experience making beds. At the age of 18 I was working as an orderly at Sacred Heart Hospital in Spokane, Washington. You can bet I learned how to make the hospital corners and nice looking beds so as to pass inspection by the head nurse. My first Drill Sargeant before I went into the Army.

As an aside, I really don't like laying in a hospital bed with really tight hospital corners.
My toes turn blue.

After high school I went straight into the Army taking basic training at Ft. Ord, California. The challenge was to make up these 3" mattress bunks so tight that you could bounce a quarter off the top blanket. By golly, much to my surprise we could actually do that.

Then came inspection time. We were all looking forward to passing inspection and getting a pass into town. This was at the end of our sixth week and we hadn't hardly been outside of the training area.

Imagine a large bay with fifteen bunk beds running down each side of this large space.
Can you see sixty guys in dress greens standing at attention to each side of their bunk?
Their black shoes are so shined that you can see the reflection from the ceiling. We were looking pretty darn sharp.

The Company Commander and the Sargeant Major are our inspectors this day and they begin the inspection one taking a side. As they get closer to where me and my bunk buddy were waiting we start hearing "Not good enough!" coming from the Sargeant Major.

We take a quick glance at each other wondering what the heck was "not good enough".
"These bunks aren't tight enough," we heard the old soldier say. That remark sure surprised me because we were all pretty proud of the quarters bouncing test.

Unfortunately the top NCO of the battalion was coming my way. The next bunk flunked the test and now I was really getting nervous. Darn it! I wanted to see what a town in California looked like.

Sure enough I flunked the bounce test too. I took a quick look at my top bunk just in time to see the Sargeant Major quickly swipe up a silver dollar. Boy did I have to bite my tongue.

"What are you looking at soldier!"

"Nothing Sargeant Major," I choked out.

What the heck were we supposed to do? Tighten the sheets and blankets so tight that the mattress would look like an upside down hot dog bun!

So no weekend pass for us and come to find out the entire company had to stay on post. I honestly don't think there was a weekend pass to be had but to make sure we flunked that old soldier pulled a fast one on us.

To make a long story short I've made up a heck of a lot of beds.

So why am I recommending that guys don't make their bed. Well, it all comes back to what a girl told me once.

"Men are just horrible," she began. "You're hairy, you're stinky, and you're just plain gross!" "Stinky, stinky, stinky!!!" (Not that I had any idea of what she was ranting about.)
Well if we're all that then why would we want to leave our chest hair or back hair on the sheets and fill the bed up with "stinky". Wouldn't it just be better to "air" the bed out instead of making it?

Ah, but you have to do this just right guys. You can't leave the blankets and sheets all jumbled up and half on the floor. Oh no. What you do is get everything straightened out and then do an accordion fold to the end of the bed. That's the sheet and blanket together in case your were wondering.

Smooth the bottom sheet out and wipe off whatever you might have left there during the night so that it looks nice and clean. (Then I recommend you wash your hands.)

What's cool about that is when you get in bed the next time you just reach down and pull everything up just as neat as you please.

Airing the bed out makes a lot of sense to me.

The Gals Get the Diamond Ring, the Guys Get the Wooden One or Why Men Die Sooner Than Women

When my wife and I worked in independent retirement facilities we quickly noticed that 75 to 80% of our residents were widowed women. And since it is a fact that men die sooner than women and I think I know the reason that this happens.

IT'S THE TOILET SEAT!

Think about it. Ever since John Clapper invented the flush commode there has been a battle between the sexes about the damn toilet seat. Heaven forbid the guy that forgets to put the seat down and in the middle of the night the wife gets a butt bath. His next day and many days hence are not going to be pleasant for him I can assure you. I speak from experience as you can tell.

Now, really, how ridiculous is this whole argument about whether or not the toilet seat is up or down. Why can't women learn this life saving procedure of putting the seat down themselves. It worries me (sorta) that women put themselves in danger by not looking to see if the seat is up or down when they hurry into the bathroom, plop down and play waterfall. Heck, don't they ever worry that there might be a great big, hairy, fangy spider sitting on the edge of the commode just waiting for her?

OK, you're scratching your head wondering how the heck putting the seat up and down all of the time shortens your guys' life. Well, think about it. As a young guy he probably raises the seat and puts it down five or six times a day with mom's constant urging and training. Then let's say he has a live in girlfriend prior to marriage so now he's putting the seat up and down eight to ten times a day.

During all the years of marriage with a wife and maybe a daughter or two he's constantly putting the seat up and down like it's a piston or something. And if he forgets, god forbid, he has to face the wrath of all the ladies of the house.

As a man ages there comes a time in his life that he's using the bathroom more often and now the seat-putting-up-and-down chore doubles to eighteen to twenty times a day. Sheesh, no wonder his back gives out not to mention the strain on his heart.

Reminds me of a story I heard about the wife who took her aging husband to the doctor and after the exam the doctor asks to talk to the wife. She goes into his office and sits down. "Now, Mrs. (chose a name) your husband's health is not as good as it could be. I have prepared a list of things that you can do to help improve and extend his life and if you follow these suggestions I'm sure Mr. (I forgot the name you chose) will be doing fine when I see him again in six months.

She takes the list and reads it.

1. He must have three nutritious well balanced meals a day.
2. You must walk with him a minimum of 20 minutes three times a day.
3. He should have sex anytime he wants when he's able.
4. Help him with his chores so that he doesn't tire easily.
5. Be sure that the medications I have prescribed are given exactly as the directions indicate.
6. Let's not worry about the toilet seat at this stage. As you should know the up and down action that men have to go through their whole lives has caused a deterioration of the lumbar spine. It's a medical fact that this shortens men's life expectancy and we don't want that at this stage in your husbands life. As a matter of fact, you might have noticed how red in the face he gets with this little chore and that could mean an elevation in his blood pressure, not to mention an increase in intercranial pressure, and this could lead to a stroke or a heart attack.
7. Make an appointment six months from today before you leave the office.

She looks up at the doctor but doesn't say anything. "So, any questions?" the doctor asks. She looks down at the list and then back up at the doctor and responds, "No, I don't think so. It's pretty well decided."

"Very good," says the doctor and escorts the lady to the waiting room and bids the couple farewell.

In the car on the way home hubby says, "Well, honey, what did the doctor say?"

Without a moments hesitation the wife says, "You're going to die."

Now that's cold! That's colder than a copper toilet seat on the shady side of an iceberg, if you ask me. I'm sure there were a number contributing factors to the wife's reaction but I betchya that the clincher was the toilet seat. She's not going to ever lose this battle no matter the consequences.

I'm convinced that this life long repetitive action and constant stress and emotional pressure on a man shortens his life span. So, if you are a gentleman reading this post you might want to think about how to save yourself. And no, taking the toilet seat off is not the way to go! Already thought of that and that could be certain death no matter what your age.

Now the ladies reading this post shouldn't be too upset. I am so well trained that the toilet seat is still going up and down even though I live alone.

My Doctor Yelled At Me!

I am so upset I can hardly tell you what happened yesterday. My doctor actually yelled at me. I've never seen anyone get so red in the face, especially a professional, and so livid. He was so loud that his nurse came running into the examination room to find out what the heck was going on.

But in my defense I have to say that I was not at fault here. 

So here's the story. It was time for my annual physical and like a lot of folks I am battling a bit of a weight problem. After all of the blood tests came back last year my doctor warned me about the high cholesterol, the slightly elevated blood pressure, elevated sugar in my urine and all the rest of that stuff that doctors go on and on about. You know, you've been there.

Taking his advice seriously I went on the internet and looked up the Food Pyramid. I wanted to follow good eating habits and eat the right foods every day. Since the Food Pyramid was put out by the Food and Drug Administration then this is probably something people should pay attention to. Of course, I did find that it wasn't that easy. Who can eat five servings of vegetables in one day?

Where do you find a cereal made strictly from vegetables? Are we supposed to have a broccoli sandwich for lunch? It's a bit difficult, isn't it.

So I studied the requirements of the food pyramid and started out with fruit juices. Now everyone knows that Hawaii grows great fruit so I put Hawaiin Punch on my shopping list. A couple of glasses of that a day should help.

I wanted to cut down on my sugar and I heard that corn syrup is nothing but sugar so I threw out the Karo Corn Syrup that my grandmother always had on hand and bought Log Cabin Lite Syrup instead. A couple of bottles of that should help.

Everyone talks about how bad red meat is for you so I didn't buy any at all and I've cut down on the $5.00 box at Taco Bell to just twice...ok, three times a month. So that has really cut down my red meat intake.

Pasta is good for you and Top Raman is all about pasta so I would buy a case of that a month. For other starches I stopped getting french fries and got tater tots instead because they look a lot more like little potatoes. Don't you agree?

You are supposed to have dairy products on your diet but not too much so I cut down from four eggs at breakfast to two. I figured hard boiled eggs in a salad for lunch were ok because they weren't runny. So that's a point for me because you get dairy and vegetable at the same time.

I had to give up any kind of candy and the pyramid told me that nuts are good for you. Since I love Paydays that wasn't any problem...they're full of nuts. The individual pecan pies are just right for a single person and they're full of good nuts too so I was getting a box of each every month. Good stuff.

For exercise I increased my trips to the frig from 10 to about 20 times a day and that's a lot of exercise for me so more points in my favor.

Now I really didn't feel like I had lost any weight over the year and my pants were a bit tight but they probably shrunk in the dryer so when it came time for my next physical I was feeling pretty positive about everything.

I reviewed the Food Pyramid and I was satisfied that I had my fruit everyday; dairy wasn't a problem; I was a little weak on the veggies but, heck, even tacos have tomatoes and lettuce; the starches were covered, and I was getting plenty of protein from all of the nuts consumed.

The nurse weighed me and took my blood pressure. Of course they never tell you anything, even if you ask, but for some reason she wasn't as friendly as she was just a few moments ago when she led me to the examination room and told me to strip to my underwear and put on that stupid paper gown.

I waited and waited and finally my doctor shows up. He has the results from the blood tests that I had to have done prior to the physical and the weight and blood pressure readings that the nurse took.

"I thought that we had discussed you going on a diet the last time I saw you," he began.

"I did go on a diet, doctor. I've been following the Food Pyramid as closely as I can for the whole year," I replied.

"Ok. Tell me about the foods you've been eating that follow the guidelines of the pyramid."

So, I told him. And then he started yelling. I don't understand. The government puts out these really hard to follow guidelines and you try to follow them and then your doctor yells at you!

No wonder Americans are fat. I think it's a government conspiracy don't you?

Good Luck on Your Diet,

Terrence Plank
http://www.gogreenautomatedbusiness.com/

The Helpful Hubby and The Soaking Cycle

Hey fellas, how would you like to really impress the wife? How do think she would she like it if her girlfriends, co-workers, and even her mother were envious of her good fortune? What could you do on a regular basis that could improve your relationship, elevate your worth in her eyes, and probably alleviate a smoldering grudge that you may not even be aware of?

After that question you might have a few ideas. Attend to the yard more often. Take the garbage out before it spills over on the floor. Keep the inside of the car cleaner. Nope. None of the above or any of the other ideas that you might have right now. So, what's the answer? Do the dishes.

What? Yup, and I'm going to tell you why this really works.

When I was a younger married fellow I was the typical male who got home from work, grabbed a beer or made myself a drink, kicked my shoes off and soon thereafter sunk my butt into the recliner. I had already learned not to ask when dinner would be ready. That never seemed to go over too well. So, like a lot of you guys I'm multi-tasking. Drink in one hand--remote in the other. About this time haven't you ever noticed how quiet the wife gets? Did you ever think that she's trying to keep the steam from billowing out of her ears as she starts to get dinner ready for you and the kids. (That's the "grudge" showing.)

It doesn't matter if your wife has been home all day with the kids or if she also holds down a full time job. The fact is she worked all day just as hard as you did and if you've ever had the kids by yourself for an entire day (god forbid the entire week) you know how exhausting that is.

So why the dishes, you ask. Were you the one worrying about what to fix that night? Were you the one that had to stop off at the store on your way home and fight the afterwork crowd at the grocery store? Probably not. I promise you that if you do the evening dishes things will really improve for you.

Watch the wife tomorrow night when she gets home. Let's say she gets home at a decent time after working 9-5. It's 5:30 or so and what does she do as soon as she gets in the door. Maybe the shoes come off and she gets a moment to change into more comfortable clothes. Maybe you chat about how your days' went for a few minutes if you're not usurped by the kids welcoming Mommy home. But very soon after that she's in the kitchen getting stuff out of the frig because she knows that everyones hungry. Isn't that right? Notice how much time has gone by from when she got home to when she's starts getting busy in the kitchen. Not much of a breather for her is it?

Now let me tell you why it's important that you take over the dish washing chore. First of all, all of us guys need to show that we appreciate all of the care and effort that your lover invests in preparing the evening meals. We need to show some gratitude as opposed to sitting down and eating like we're in the chow hall and then hurrying off to the couch, recliner, garage or whatever. Nope, this does not make the ladies happy so I'm going to help you out and teach you the best way I found to do the dishes.

First off, it would be nice if you stayed at the table until she finished her meal. This is a good start. Just as she's taking the last couple of bites let her know that you will be doing the dishes and that you want her to relax, kick back, put her feet up. She'll probably protest at first but be insistant and tell her that you want to show her how much you appreciate all the work she put in this night. Get up and start clearing the table. All of a sudden she's going to feel a little guilty and she'll want to help. This is when you give her a hug and a kiss and walk her into the den or living room or where ever her favorite chair is and convince her that you are serious and for her not to worry about this sudden bizarre behavior.

The next few steps are important so pay attention. Run straight hot water in the sink and use Dawn Dish Liquid. Not too much as Dawn really produces the suds and not the kind with added lemon oil or an oily fragrance because they don't cut the grease as well as the original formula. Carefully but the dinner dishes and silverware in the full sink.

This is my favorite part of doing the dishes--I call it "The Soaking Cycle".

While the dishes are soaking it's important that you cover the leftovers before you put them in the frig. When the table is cleared, the dishes are soaking and the left over food is properly stored it's time for a break. It's TV time!

When you suddenly take your chair just ten minutes or so into the dish washing chore you are going to get a strange look. Let her know that everything is under control and that you're just letting the dishes soak for a bit. Now it doesn't matter what television program is on because there are going to be commercial breaks. It's during the commerical breaks for the next hour or so that the rest of the kitchen get's cleaned and the dishes get washed and put away.

When she gets used to you doing it this way there won't be any problems but when she gets to work tomorrow she will be bragging to her workmates about what a great husband she has. As soon as she has the opportunity her mom, her sisters, and her best friends will all hear about what you are doing for her and why. Heck, when she gets home tomorrow night you might even get a treat.

It sure worked for me.

Good Luck Guys, Let me know how it went for you.

Terrence Plank
eagledoc1@sbcglobal.net

What I Hated Most About Vietnam (It Isn't What You Would Expect)

As a medic with the 3rd Battalion, 506th Airborne Infantry Regiment, 101st Airborne Division I spent a year in Vietnam. Those years were from the fall of 1967 to the fall of 1968. At the age of 20 I was one of the older enlisted men.

But this story isn't about the action that we saw but about some of the discomfort we endured. Specifically this story is about that big hump on my back that you see in the photo here. There is a logical (militarily speaking, of course) reason that I look so weighed down--80 pounds of logic.

There is a difference in the way that recon teams are resupplied and the way that combat platoons are resupplied. Platoon size elements were resupplied about every third or fourth day. Our rucks in this situation probably averaged between 50 and 60 pounds and most of that was M-16 ammo, M-60 machine gun ammo as everyone carried at least 100 rounds for the machine gunner, and, sometimes, M-79 grenades for the grenadier. Others, like myself and the RTO had additional weight to carry as did others depending upon their specific job and the mission.

Anyway, about every third day or so a Huey 1H helicopter supported by one or two gunships would land on an LZ that we had secured to bring us ammo, c-rations, water, sundry packs, mail, replacements, etc. 

It was different when I joined a 6-man LRRP (Long Ranger Reconnaissance Patrol) team. There was no resupply during our 5 day missions. So, everything we needed we had to carry on or in our rucksacks. As you can see in the photo I look a little burdened.

There were a lot of things that were down right unpleasant during my tour in Vietnam with the Screaming Eagles. Fire fights, mortar attacks, booby traps, mosquitos as big as hummingbirds, and leeches in every stream that we crossed, and I could go on and on, but, the thing that I truly hated was that damn rucksack.

As you can see and pretty well figure out this isn't a pack that you just pick up and toss on your back. Nope. We would help each other get these rucks on or a trooper would sit in front of his ruck, secure the shoulder straps and one or two of us would pull him to his feet.

Let me back up a bit. You need a little background. I was a platoon medic and shock force medic for the first four months in country. The Shock Force was a reinforced platoon that was used for special missions and we were involved in protecting the District Chieftans villa in downtown Phan Thiet during the Tet of 1968. This was twenty two very intense days of fighting and if someone wants to know more just type "Tet of '68, Phan Thiet" in your search box.

After Tet I was assigned to a six man recon team. The proper name for it is Long Range Reconnaisance Patrol. Now, Webster's Dictionary defines reconnaisance as the act of surreptitously going behind enemy lines to spy on and gain intelligence on the enemy. There were no lines in Vietnam, as everyone knows, but reconnaissance is vitally important to any combat unit. It was our mission to locate and observe NVA (North Vietnamese Army) activities and Viet Cong movements. Our job, basically, was to be inserted into an area (by helicopter) quite a ways from our objective and then move (hump) quietly to the area of interest and locate the enemy. This was not a "search and destroy" mission that the larger units were involved in but a spy mission basically. We would (as quietly as possible) search the suspected area for signs of the enemy and set up in locations where trails and villages could be surveilled without us giving away our position. That means no noise, no snoring, no coughing, no smoking, etc., etc.

Our job was to count how many enemy we saw, take note of the kinds of weapons they were carrying, what direction they were traveling, and to try to interpret their intentions. We were supposed to do all of this without being detected but way too often the teams and the enemy would meet up in some fashion (like on the same trail!) and then the fire would fly until we could be extracted or reinforced.

All of this was an every day occurrence, so to speak, so you get used to it. What I couldn't get used to was that god awful ruck sack.

And let me remind my readers that this took place in South East Asia, Vietnam obviously, where the temperatures near the coast averaged in the 90's and over 100 degrees further inland. Even during the monsoon season the temperatures didn't go down much. It just got steamier and wetter. You become accustomed to the heat but constantly battle severe dehydration, malaria, jungle rot, snake bites, and booby traps.

Looking at the photo you can see that it looks rather heavy. Right? You see canteens sticking out in various places (three are pretty easy to see) my rolled up poncho liner that I slept on, ammo pouches and the round tubular looking thing on top is called a LAW. That stands for light anti-tank weapon. It's a rocket. This particular mission in the area around Song Be was rife with tunnels. We carried the LAWS to blow up the entrances.

You can see that my camouflage isn't finished yet We had just started applying it when the battalion clerk, photograher, and historian asked us if we wanted our photos taken. Jerry Berry is his name and he wanted $3 for the photo. Since we didn't carry any money on us he took an IOU and I finally got to pay him back at a battalion reunion 30 years later.

So you see I'm carrying a bunch of stuff. But that isn't the half of it. What you can't see are the 21 magazines of M-16 ammo (378 rounds); four baseball size hand grenades, five smoke grenades, a claymore mine, a small medics aid kit that weighed about 4 pounds, LRRP (lerp) rations for 6 days (just in case) and, oh yah, 9 more canteens of water! The minor stuff that didn't weigh much were things like dry socks, a second pair of glasses, insect repellant, water purifications tablets, camouflage sticks, additional IV fluids, etc.

Now why in the heck would anyone carry 12 canteens of water? What is that 3 gallons and each gallon of water weighs a little over 8 pounds. That's about right. LRRP rations are dehydrated food packets and it takes a half of a canteen of water to make one meal. We would eat two meals a day so that's five to six canteens just for the rations during the mission and the rest to use for drinking. We would use a little water to brush our teeth and then swallow. Remember, we did not want to leave any evidence of our existence in enemy territory.

But there is a logistical reason for carry the dehydrated food packets versus C-ration cans. The first reason is noise discipline. You don't want to be making much noise as you sneak around the jungle. The second is trash discipline. You don't want to leave anything behind that would let someone else know that we were in their backyard. The third reason is that LRRP rations weight much less than cans of food. Of course, that benefit was offset by the amount of water we had to carry. However, if you knew that there were decent water sources where you were going and you had plenty of water purification tablets (makes the water taste like crap, by the way) you wouldn't need to play pack mule. But this wasn't the case in any situation that my team was in.

Instead of walking around like a homeless person carrying every can they find we could pack up our wrappers and other trash and secure everything in our rucks. This way no one could follow our trail (hopefully).

Now I hope that no one invisions the six of us walking down some country road. Often we had to cut our way through the jungle like what you see in the old Tarzan movies. Or we had to climb hills by grabbing sapplings, vines, limbs, or what have you to help pull ourselves up. The most aggravating things were the "wait-a-minute-vines". You see all of the stuff sticking out every which way from the ruck so it wasn't hard to get a vine or two wrapped around something. So you whisper "wait a minute" and that's how the vines got their name.

So, from about March of 1968 until I left Vietnam in October this ruck sack was my burden. Let me say that when I arrived in country I weighed a healthy 165 pounds. By the time October came around I was down to 140 pounds. You think that that blasted rucksack would lose a little to help me out. Hell No!

Terry Plank
"Malpractice"
terrenceplank@yahoo.com

Glossary of Terms:

LRRP: Pronounced "lerp". Long Range Reconnaisance Patrol
Combat Platoon: Pre-Tet: 26-30 heavily armed soldiers. Post-Tet: 18-20
M-79 Grenade: Each grenade wieghed 1 lb. And there were different types for different purposes.
Smoke Grenades: canisters of different colored smoke for the purposes of marking LZ's, letting jet pilots and gunships know where to attack, etc.
Hump: Hike two thousand to five thousand kilometers to our designated hunting grounds. About 1 and half to 4 miles through thick jungle or up and over pretty tall hills and mountains.
LRRP rations: a packet about the size of a video tape that contained a dehydrated orange juice bar, your choice of dehydrated Chili and Beans, Chicken and Rice, or Turkey and Rice, and small amount of toilet paper. Of course, the food promoted constipation.
C-Rations: small, olive green colored cans of food. Each packet would contain things like crackers and cheese, turkey loaf, peanut butter, ham and lima beans, pork and beans, a hot chocolate pack that was accompanied by three cookies, and the like. You opened these cans by using a P-38 can opener. I have one on my key ring from 1968.
M-60 Machine Gun: this is a belt fed weapon. It was easier if everyone (except the platoon leader and RTO) carried additional ammo as one man wouldn't be able to carry more than a few hundred rounds on top of the rest of his gear.
RTO: radio-telephone operator. He carried the 12 pound PRC 25 radio that had a telephone handset attached. You've seen these in the movies.
LZ: an area large enough to accomodate one or more helicopters is called a landing zone. The open areas that paratroopers parachute onto is called a drop zone.
Claymore Mine: Also called an "anti-personnel mine" this gray colored slightly curved contraption held a one pound block of plastic explosive called C-4 behind thousands of small metal pellets. Two plastic coated wires were attached to the trigger mechanism that you depressed or you could set the mine up as a booby trap with a trip wire.
Poncho Liner: small camouflaged comforter that we slept on (and wished that I had washed more often!)
3/506th Infantry: reformed in the spring of 1967 at Ft. Campbell, Kentucky as a continuation of the "Band Of Brothers" battalion who fought with distinction in World War II.
Purification Tablets: iodine tablets that helped to combat the impurities in water. Tried it with fizzie tablets, Kool-Aid and what not. Didn't help.
"Malpractice": my radio call sign and nickname but not because I was practicing medicine without a license. (which, of course I was but there's another reason the name came about.) I'll leave that for another story.
Sundry Pack: Large boxes that held things like cigarettes, candy, toothbrushes, tooth paste, and other things that I can't remember but that we all looked forward to sharing.
Phan Thiet: a seacoast city sixty miles north of Saigon

    

Muzzle Your Mouse 2

Since I'm new to this format I see that my first post held only a headline. So let's try this again.

I know that you are excited about starting your own home business. You might be so excited, almost out of control excited, that you may want to muzzle your mouse for a while. We see phenomenal possibilities of untold wealth, more leisure time than you've ever had, exotic cars, mansions, and traveling to exotice places in the offerings that we see advertised and that come into our e-mail boxes.

Some of us are like little kids in a candy store. It's just impossible to chose one or two kinds of candy. We want it all, don't we? Heck, I be alot of you even lost sleep when you first saw the possibities of creating a huge downline ($$$) or of promoting the hottest product on the market to millions of people and you know, without a doubt, everyone buys it.

But hold on friends. You might be like me and you might just have to Muzzle Your Mouse.

Hi. My name is Terry Plank. I'm a newbie too and I want to share some of the mistakes I've made recently that I blame on this fantastic Candy Store of Opportunity we call the internet.

I had to retire early in September because of health reasons so I find that I have a lot of time on my hands. Since I can't play golf everyday and don't have the money to travel and I needed to find some way to make more money than what Social Security pays. What better way than my own home business using the internet. Right?

Unfortunately, when we got our first computer I got into the habit of clicking on everything and every offer that I saw. (Just an aside, here, let me tell you that my family didn't get our first color television until I was ten years old. So, I have a tendancy to go gaga over all of this new technology.) So I'm on the computer just having a grand old time with the mouse and really becoming infected by "The Candy Store Syndrome" I call it. My son calls me "Mr. Clicky" and he's had to bail me out a few times because of downloaded viruses and such.

Now, please understand, this isn't all my fault. Now that I'm looking for a home business another type of illness affected me that makes me buy almost everything that comes along. I call this one "The Newbie Virus". This virus makes every offering look like gold bullion coming to you by the truck load and the next thing you know you're clicking away, pulling out the credit card, and just going nuts with those dollar signs in your head.

I hope this isn't you. In our excitement to get a business going, find multiple streams of income opportunities, the best MLM ever invented, etc. we can get a bit carried away. We are going to need to muzzle the mouse, get control of ourself, get a plan and a direction that fits our personality and lifestyle and stick to it. Ignore all of the other offers coming in and just work what we can handle. When we have that figured out and working then maybe we can take on one or two other money making projects but not before.

If we are going to learn to control the mouse then maybe we also need to learn to hobble our credit cards. It's just too darn easy to grab the darn thing and start pressing buy now buttons. Oh, a piece of advice concerning credit cards. If you want to protect your identity it might be a good idea to get a free PayPal account. They will protect your card number from running amok over the ethernet and also track your purchases and your earnings.

Get educated! Find good training programs and dig in. Marketing on line is a whole different animal than what we've done in our day jobs. Even professional sales people will find this type of marketing and selling very different from what they've been trained to do. If you want to compete with all those who are already making a living on the internet than you will need to learn how to do that or you won't succeed.

I'm getting organized. I have a plan and a direction. I have two excellent training programs that I learn from every day and, most importantly, I am starting to implement what I've learned these past few months. And as I learn more and more I see more and more opportunities opening up. It really is very, very exciting.


Best of luck to those of you just entering the home business arena. Just remember that it takes a little self discipline to do this right.

Terry Plank
eagledoc2@gmail.com