Hey fellas, how would you like to really impress the wife? How do think she would she like it if her girlfriends, co-workers, and even her mother were envious of her good fortune? What could you do on a regular basis that could improve your relationship, elevate your worth in her eyes, and probably alleviate a smoldering grudge that you may not even be aware of?
After that question you might have a few ideas. Attend to the yard more often. Take the garbage out before it spills over on the floor. Keep the inside of the car cleaner. Nope. None of the above or any of the other ideas that you might have right now. So, what's the answer? Do the dishes.
What? Yup, and I'm going to tell you why this really works.
When I was a younger married fellow I was the typical male who got home from work, grabbed a beer or made myself a drink, kicked my shoes off and soon thereafter sunk my butt into the recliner. I had already learned not to ask when dinner would be ready. That never seemed to go over too well. So, like a lot of you guys I'm multi-tasking. Drink in one hand--remote in the other. About this time haven't you ever noticed how quiet the wife gets? Did you ever think that she's trying to keep the steam from billowing out of her ears as she starts to get dinner ready for you and the kids. (That's the "grudge" showing.)
It doesn't matter if your wife has been home all day with the kids or if she also holds down a full time job. The fact is she worked all day just as hard as you did and if you've ever had the kids by yourself for an entire day (god forbid the entire week) you know how exhausting that is.
So why the dishes, you ask. Were you the one worrying about what to fix that night? Were you the one that had to stop off at the store on your way home and fight the afterwork crowd at the grocery store? Probably not. I promise you that if you do the evening dishes things will really improve for you.
Watch the wife tomorrow night when she gets home. Let's say she gets home at a decent time after working 9-5. It's 5:30 or so and what does she do as soon as she gets in the door. Maybe the shoes come off and she gets a moment to change into more comfortable clothes. Maybe you chat about how your days' went for a few minutes if you're not usurped by the kids welcoming Mommy home. But very soon after that she's in the kitchen getting stuff out of the frig because she knows that everyones hungry. Isn't that right? Notice how much time has gone by from when she got home to when she's starts getting busy in the kitchen. Not much of a breather for her is it?
Now let me tell you why it's important that you take over the dish washing chore. First of all, all of us guys need to show that we appreciate all of the care and effort that your lover invests in preparing the evening meals. We need to show some gratitude as opposed to sitting down and eating like we're in the chow hall and then hurrying off to the couch, recliner, garage or whatever. Nope, this does not make the ladies happy so I'm going to help you out and teach you the best way I found to do the dishes.
First off, it would be nice if you stayed at the table until she finished her meal. This is a good start. Just as she's taking the last couple of bites let her know that you will be doing the dishes and that you want her to relax, kick back, put her feet up. She'll probably protest at first but be insistant and tell her that you want to show her how much you appreciate all the work she put in this night. Get up and start clearing the table. All of a sudden she's going to feel a little guilty and she'll want to help. This is when you give her a hug and a kiss and walk her into the den or living room or where ever her favorite chair is and convince her that you are serious and for her not to worry about this sudden bizarre behavior.
The next few steps are important so pay attention. Run straight hot water in the sink and use Dawn Dish Liquid. Not too much as Dawn really produces the suds and not the kind with added lemon oil or an oily fragrance because they don't cut the grease as well as the original formula. Carefully but the dinner dishes and silverware in the full sink.
This is my favorite part of doing the dishes--I call it "The Soaking Cycle".
While the dishes are soaking it's important that you cover the leftovers before you put them in the frig. When the table is cleared, the dishes are soaking and the left over food is properly stored it's time for a break. It's TV time!
When you suddenly take your chair just ten minutes or so into the dish washing chore you are going to get a strange look. Let her know that everything is under control and that you're just letting the dishes soak for a bit. Now it doesn't matter what television program is on because there are going to be commercial breaks. It's during the commerical breaks for the next hour or so that the rest of the kitchen get's cleaned and the dishes get washed and put away.
When she gets used to you doing it this way there won't be any problems but when she gets to work tomorrow she will be bragging to her workmates about what a great husband she has. As soon as she has the opportunity her mom, her sisters, and her best friends will all hear about what you are doing for her and why. Heck, when she gets home tomorrow night you might even get a treat.
It sure worked for me.
Good Luck Guys, Let me know how it went for you.
Terrence Plank
eagledoc1@sbcglobal.net
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