Bed Making For Guys
Guys aren't really great at bed making so my recommendation is DON'T!
Now I've had a great deal of experience making beds. At the age of 18 I was working as an orderly at Sacred Heart Hospital in Spokane, Washington. You can bet I learned how to make the hospital corners and nice looking beds so as to pass inspection by the head nurse. My first Drill Sargeant before I went into the Army.
As an aside, I really don't like laying in a hospital bed with really tight hospital corners.
My toes turn blue.
After high school I went straight into the Army taking basic training at Ft. Ord, California. The challenge was to make up these 3" mattress bunks so tight that you could bounce a quarter off the top blanket. By golly, much to my surprise we could actually do that.
Then came inspection time. We were all looking forward to passing inspection and getting a pass into town. This was at the end of our sixth week and we hadn't hardly been outside of the training area.
Imagine a large bay with fifteen bunk beds running down each side of this large space.
Can you see sixty guys in dress greens standing at attention to each side of their bunk?
Their black shoes are so shined that you can see the reflection from the ceiling. We were looking pretty darn sharp.
The Company Commander and the Sargeant Major are our inspectors this day and they begin the inspection one taking a side. As they get closer to where me and my bunk buddy were waiting we start hearing "Not good enough!" coming from the Sargeant Major.
We take a quick glance at each other wondering what the heck was "not good enough".
"These bunks aren't tight enough," we heard the old soldier say. That remark sure surprised me because we were all pretty proud of the quarters bouncing test.
Unfortunately the top NCO of the battalion was coming my way. The next bunk flunked the test and now I was really getting nervous. Darn it! I wanted to see what a town in California looked like.
Sure enough I flunked the bounce test too. I took a quick look at my top bunk just in time to see the Sargeant Major quickly swipe up a silver dollar. Boy did I have to bite my tongue.
"What are you looking at soldier!"
"Nothing Sargeant Major," I choked out.
What the heck were we supposed to do? Tighten the sheets and blankets so tight that the mattress would look like an upside down hot dog bun!
So no weekend pass for us and come to find out the entire company had to stay on post. I honestly don't think there was a weekend pass to be had but to make sure we flunked that old soldier pulled a fast one on us.
To make a long story short I've made up a heck of a lot of beds.
So why am I recommending that guys don't make their bed. Well, it all comes back to what a girl told me once.
"Men are just horrible," she began. "You're hairy, you're stinky, and you're just plain gross!" "Stinky, stinky, stinky!!!" (Not that I had any idea of what she was ranting about.)
Well if we're all that then why would we want to leave our chest hair or back hair on the sheets and fill the bed up with "stinky". Wouldn't it just be better to "air" the bed out instead of making it?
Ah, but you have to do this just right guys. You can't leave the blankets and sheets all jumbled up and half on the floor. Oh no. What you do is get everything straightened out and then do an accordion fold to the end of the bed. That's the sheet and blanket together in case your were wondering.
Smooth the bottom sheet out and wipe off whatever you might have left there during the night so that it looks nice and clean. (Then I recommend you wash your hands.)
What's cool about that is when you get in bed the next time you just reach down and pull everything up just as neat as you please.
Airing the bed out makes a lot of sense to me.
